Comments & feedback:
- This
is an interesting one – it feels like three excellent standalone scenes
but doesn’t quite fit together as a coherent narrative collectively. The
editing and use of music in the opening is very strong although perhaps
you need to make more of the flashback scenes? They are so quick it’s
difficult to tell exactly what story they are telling.
- The
next scene with the shot of the victim is so well framed to communicate
that she’s being held captive. However, the transition between the scenes
is a little messy – I don’t fully understand how the narrative fits
together. Is it worth considering re-ordering these scenes to make the
narrative clearer? You could also think about where the title graphic goes
to help with this.
- Talking
of the title graphic, you might want to add the name of the writer/creator
(you want as many TV drama key conventions as possible) and perhaps use it
to divide up the scenes a little more clearly?
- The
final scene in your sequence is again really well put together – the
character seeing the victim then her not being there, the posters, the way
it’s all edited together. However, it’s not clear how this scene fits into
the others. Is there a way you can make the narrative more coherent for
the audience to follow?
- Think
about colour grading/post-production too – is it worth aiming for a
darker, grittier feel? The use of black and white for the flashback in the
opening scene is great. This tutorial might help with colour grading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9iocA5dU40
- Currently just under 2mins so obviously need to add to this to meet the brief of 3mins. I think the key to your extra minute or so is making the narrative explicitly clear to the audience, whether that involves adding something at the beginning, middle or end of your sequence.
Improvements:
- Increase length to make it 3 minutes
- Make the narrative more cohesive - add in a conversation scene
- Match the colour grading - copy from beginning scene to the rest of the video
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